Court Rundell

unhinged.

The word came out of the TV and hung in the air. It stayed there all day. One word described exactly how I felt the weeks leading up to and during my most recent hospitalization.

unhinged.

an empty door frame
air
a void
nothing left
door face down
for shame
loose screws, a problem of the past
now scattered
again.

if only this was the first time
or even the third

she fears the screws are stripped
it's not like you can go 
to the hardware store and ask 
for an eraser of the past
holes
empty sockets
only make sense
when filled
but it's all on the floor now
only a frame remains
there is no control
there is no safety
there is no if-then-when-I'll be happy.

hope left months ago
she packed her plastic red suitcase
with no promises made
the same red suitcase she packed the night
they fled
7 years old
she put her favorite books
and stuffed animals
46 years old
she didn't even have room for hope.

door face down
she longs for the days
when a few loose screws
were her biggest problem.

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