â€œWhere are you going?â€ Eve yelled as I ran. She was brave. She was also left alone by bullies, probably due to the fact that theyâ€™d have to get within smelling range to appropriately intimidate her.
â€œI, uh, I forgot I told my mom Iâ€™d be home right after school today!â€ I lied as I sprinted toward the crosswalk.
Once I reached the street corner, I pressed the crosswalk button about 400 times in a matter of five seconds. Unfortunately, my fixed attention on said crosswalk button distracted me so I completely failed to notice who was on the other side of the street and about to head my way. Yep. Not one, not two, but all three of my new bullies. And they had not only already spotted me in their territory, but they were already laughing at me.
â€œHey Egghead! Did you get lost? Are you running home to Mommy?â€ They intermittently barked at me between peals of laughter.
Then in perfect fashion, the glowing white walking man suddenly and almost mockingly appeared in the crosswalk box. This was markedly the first of many times that the man Iâ€™d longed for so desperately finally showed up – at the entirely wrong time. I didnâ€™t know what to do. I was frozen. Just then, Eve caught up with me and grabbed my arm.
â€œJust walk. Donâ€™t look at them.â€ She coached me under her breath.
â€œOh look at the lesbian lovers! Eve and Courtney sitting in a tree, K I S S I N Gâ€¦â€ They continued taunting us as we met in the middle of the crosswalk. At least I knew we couldnâ€™t be there forever. Eventually the light would turn green, right? Or maybe a semi would magically run the red light and tragically (and hopefully quickly) squash me like a bug? Should I be so lucky.
Because of all of the excitement of the day, my guard was down, so much so that the fancy dodging-bullies footwork Iâ€™d honed over the past few hellish months was thrown out the window. Tammy pulled her signature move and stuck one hefty freckled leg out in my direct line of travel, sending me crashing to the ground. One knee, then both, met with the black asphalt, tearing my corduroys and leaving small black granules in my bloodied skin. Next to hit was my chin, which caused a domino reaction, slamming my jaw shut which in turn clamped right down onto my tongue.
I donâ€™t know why and I wish it wasnâ€™t so, but these moments are always in slow motion. Itâ€™s like the moments that suck so bad you wish theyâ€™d go by super fast tend to go at the pace of molasses. A minute becomes like 800 years. Thatâ€™s just an estimate, but I think Iâ€™m pretty close.
At a slugâ€™s speed, not one, but both packs of cigarettes flew out of my little purse onto the street. This was the defining moment. It would all be worthwhile â€“ the blood, the bruises, the years of therapy to come â€“ if these smokes wouldâ€™ve incited a fear in my bullies like no other. A trembling. An understanding of how truly psycho the little girl they tormented every day was and the lengths she would go to prove as much.
Tammy, Lisa, and Gina, who were already laughing hysterically, started howling at a decibel which only rivaled Def Leppard.
â€œOh my nameâ€™s Egghead, Iâ€™m a smoker now. Iâ€™m so retarded!â€ The choir of doom sang through their laughter.
â€œYou think youâ€™re tough now? Weâ€™ll show you tough tomorrow when we kick your ass!â€ They bellowed. Perfect, now I had something to look forward to at least.
The light turned green as we piled the intestines of my purse back in its little body. When it couldnâ€™t get any more humiliating, the honking began. Sparks was a cruel city. No pausing for downed weirdos. I prayed they would just put me out of my misery and run me over. Just make it fast. Knowing my luck that would be in slow fucking motion too.
Eve picked up the pieces and got me safely across the street. My knees, chin, and tongue were bleeding, snot was dripping out of my nose and I was sobbing. A car of teenage boys slowed down to stare as they drove by. Through my tears a blurry bumper sticker came into focus which read, â€œReno is so close to hell you can see Sparks.â€